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All I wanted was another child. How could things have gone so wrong?"I lifted my head and looked around the bedroom realizing I was talking to myself. And then my head dropped and sunk into my husband's pillow as I thought back to the beginning.Marshal and I had begun fighting. It often revolved around insignificant things, but we both knew the root cause -- although we refused to admit it openly. I wanted another child. We had conceived with Jeff on our honeymoon and thought it would be just as easy two years later -- preferably a girl this time. What mother doesn't want a girl to dress up in cute dresses? And what father doesn't want a little princess to dote over?But the fertility gods were not kind to us. And then Marshal had a sudden loss of weight. I nagged until he saw a doctor and, after a few examinations, we learned he had cancer. It was crushing news, but he was young and strong and we had youthful optimism on our side. Thankfully the chemotherapy rid his body of the. Why did I blurt that out? Yes, I was thinking that, but I knew betterthan to say that, didn't I? I so didn't want to blow things with Lucy.But how did I apologise without digging a deeper hole? In fact should Iapologise as I only meant it as a compliment?I decided not to say anything and when Lucy came back she didn't sayanything about what I had said either.Instead she suggested we go on a training run tomorrow. If either of usmissed the run they would have to smoke a packet of cigarettes.I was an early riser so I suggested we meet at 8:00am outside our halls ofresidence.I don't remember much after that as I think I blacked out. I woke thefollowing morning at around 9:15am to a knock on my door. My head wasspinning and there was a smell of cigarettes and something else in myroom.I opened the door. It was Lucy."Here's your cigarettes. You missed our run," she said offering me apacket of 20 cigarettes."But I don't smoke." Are you not a man, a man of your word?"She had me there..
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